These Feelings
by vampireangelxx
Summary: Rose has never experienced ANYTHING like this before. She's never truly fallen in love. But she comes to realize she can never be with the man she loves. And she'd risk it all for him, despite her vow that she'd be Lissa's guardian someday...
1. jealousy

**A/N**

**This takes place after Vampire Academy. I hope you all like it! Please tell me what you think of it in a review! Thanks so much! :) **

**~vampireangelxx~**

**Rose's P.O.V **

"Hey, Comrade," I greeted Dimitri. It was time for training, and I fell into step beside him, as we headed toward the Academy's gym.

We entered the gym, and Dimitri said, "We're going one on one," as he took off his duster, and he was wearing a dark grey tank top and sweats.

We headed toward the middle of the gym, where the mats were, and we stepped onto one and faced each other.

"Okay. So we're practicing offensive and defensive moves. Show me what you got." He said. My fist almost touched his chest, but he was on the defensive.

He knocked me down on the mat, pinning my arm against my side. I glared. "No fair," I exclaimed. "You barely gave me a chance!"

He let me go and straightened up. I stood up. "Life isn't fair, and I did give you a chance. I just blocked your move." He shrugged. I sighed in frustration.

"Fine, life isn't fair, blah, blah, blah. What do I do next?" I ran my fingers through my hair in agitation. The look in his eyes told me he noticed that.

"That's all for today. See you tomorrow." He said, putting on his duster. He walked out the gym. I walked out soon after he left. I didn't want him to think I was following him.

I headed toward my dorm, since it was Saturday, and I saw Lissa holding hands with Christian. They looked good together. Actually, they looked perfect together.

I stared wistfully at them. They were a distance away from me, near the Moroi dorms, but it looked like she was laughing. I wished I had someone to hold…someone to care for.

Then I felt a spark of jealousy shoot through me. I really wished I had someone to love. Someone to be with. Someone I couldn't be without. Someone I could laugh with, someone that would make me feel like I belonged.

I tried to shake it off as I walked towards the dhampir dorm.

* * *

><p>When I arrived at my room, I went to my desk and sat down in the desk chair. I turned my computer on and checked my email. I didn't have any recent emails.<p>

I turned my computer off and heard a knock at my door. I got up and answered the door. It was Mason.

"Oh, hey Mason, what're you doing here?" I asked.

"I just thought I'd let you know that Kirova said we could have a prom. She said it was okay."

"Really? Awesome!" I said. "How'd you know about that? And who thought of it in the first place?"

"Lissa told me and she was the one who thought of it. In fact, she even went straight up to Kirova's office and asked her."

"Huh."

I didn't expect that. I smiled. "Guess I have to find a dress, huh? When is the prom?" I asked.

"It's tomorrow."

"What?" I exclaimed. "That gives me hardly any time to find a dress!"

"Lissa already has one for you. She knows your favorite type of style. I like it," He grinned.

"Oh. Okay. So, will I like it?"

"No."

"Oh."

"You'll _love_ it."

"Mason, you're so weird," I grinned.

"I'm serious. You will love it. It's definitely quite your style." He smiled. I gave him my man eater smile, and his eyes lit up like the 4th of July.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I woke up and got dressed, and then I heard a knock on my door. I opened it but no one was there. I started to close the door until something told me to look down.<p>

I did and saw a flat rectangular box placed in front of my door. I sensed through the bond Lissa's emotions: She was happy and excited for prom. She was also nervous.

She was going with Christian, _obviously_, and I had no idea who I was going with.

Maybe I could go with Mason, just for the heck of it. I picked up the box and set it on my bed. I shut the door behind me. I sat on the edge of my bed, and carefully, almost hesitantly, lifted the lid of the box.

After standing up, I held out the dress across my hip and stood in the front of the mirror. The dress was blood red, and the fabric was satin. It was strapless.

I took off my clothes and slipped on the dress. It clung to my chest and hips. It went down to a few inches above my knees.

Mason was right. I _did_ love this dress. It fit my style perfectly. I saw a small, square box inside the long flat box, and I picked it up and lifted the lid. I gasped at what I saw inside.

It was a diamond necklace, with a heart pendant, and there were facets of rubies within the pendant. It was stunning. I saw matching earrings, and I put both on. The necklace was a bit trickier, because of the clasp, but I somehow managed it.

I slipped my feet into a pair of black knee length boots with heels that Lissa had gotten me and walked out the door. I entered the lobby, and saw groups of Moroi girls and boys dressed up for the prom.

Mason walked up to me, grinning as he looked me up and down.

"Wow, Rose, you look…hot." He said, his eyes lighting up again as I gave him my man eater smile.

"So will you be my date, Mason?" I asked. I grinned when he blushed, and he grinned back.

"Of course I will," He replied, bowing gallantly. I smiled and took his hand. We walked out of the dorm, and as we walked across campus, to the gym since it was time, I noticed that Mason was wearing a tux.

"Wow, Mason," I said.

He laughed. "You finally noticed? My mom gave it to me, but it was with great reluctance, since it was my dad's."

"Oh. Really? Wow." I said.

"Yeah. It fits me. He wore it when he was a teenager. Otherwise, it wouldn't fit me obviously."

"Yeah." We arrived at the gym and as we walked in, I saw Dimitri on the far end of the gym, talking to Alberta Petrov, the captain of the guardians here at the Academy. I saw her nod and then walk away. Dimitri's eyes met mine.

My heart was beating fast, working overtime, as he walked toward us.

"Hey, Rose, I'm going to go talk to Eddie. I'll be back soon," Mason said.

"Okay," I glanced back at him. He walked away. When I turned around, Dimitri was by my side. "Hey, comrade, what's up?" I said, just trying to make small talk.

"Nothing really, but I need to tell you something," He said seriously.

"Okay," I said slowly, warily.

After a long moment of silence, he said abruptly, "Don't forget your training tomorrow." And he left shortly thereafter.

I shook the confusion off and went to find Mason. He was at one of the tables lined against the wall, the one that held the punch bowl and snacks, and he looked up and saw me approach.

He grinned lazily. "Hey, Rose, want some punch?" He asked.

"Sure," I said. He handed me a cup and we chugged it down at the same time.

"Let's dance, my favorite song is playing!" I said and took his hand and led him to the middle of the floor, where some couples were already dancing.

The song _Moves like Jagger_ by _**Maroon 5**_ featuring _**Christina Aguilera**_ played. I swayed my hips, with my hands raised above my head, and I heard some Moroi whistling.

I danced and danced until I was out of breath. I went to sit down in one of the chairs lined up against the wall. Mason was dancing with his friends.

"Hey, Rose," A very familiar voice greeted me. I shifted in my seat and saw…

…Lissa.

"Hey, Liss, so you came up with this whole idea? I gotta say it rocks." I complimented her.

"Thanks, Rose. I'm glad you're having a good time," She said, smiling. She sat down beside me, and squeezed my hand.

Then Christian strode over to us and sat down next to Lissa.

"Hey, Rosie," He smirked. I glared.

"I swear, if you call me Rosie one more time…" I let the threat dangle there.

But his smirk just grew bigger. Lissa gave us a scolding look.

"Stop it, both of you." She chastised. But I could feel her amusement through the bond.

She was wearing a sea blue, spaghetti strap, dress with tiny emeralds around the neckline, and it was low cut. Her hair was in a side bun, and Christian was wearing a dress shirt and black jeans.

She looked radiant and I could tell from the look in Christian's eyes that he thought the same too.

Yeah. This was a night I'd never forget.

**A/N**

**I'll update ASAP. Please review, and tell me what you think :) Thank you! :) **

**~vampireangelxx~**


	2. These feelings

**Rose's P.O.V **

I walked up the stairs to my dorm room, exhausted. I walked in, got changed into pajamas, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.

I was standing in a ballroom. It was obvious that I was dreaming. I took in the ballroom, but it was empty...no chairs, but there was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

I looked down and saw that I was wearing the same clingy black strapless dress I wore to prom. But then I saw someone across the room.

He strode over to me, and I knew who it was without question, without any doubt in my mind.

Dimitri.

He cupped my chin, and gazed into my eyes. He smiled. I saw so much love and affection in his eyes that my heart beat overtime. He leaned down to kiss me, but right when he was about to…

…I woke up.

I was breathless and sweating, my heart pounding in my chest. Why on earth did I dream about Dimitri? And what were these feelings inside me? There was no way I…I loved him…right?

No way.

But it was the only explanation for the way I was feeling. This was…unexpected. But I couldn't deny it anymore.

He was my mentor, and he was seven years older than me, so it was kind of illegal for me to love him…okay, scratch that.

It was illegal for me to actually _be_ with him. And I highly doubted he felt the same. I was pretty sure he _didn't _feel the same. I groaned, annoyed by these feelings that were bubbling inside me.

I glanced at my alarm clock and it said **3 A.M**.

Time for class. I got up and got dressed into jeans and a black tank top, with a cropped, short sleeved jacket.

* * *

><p>A few moments later, I was sitting at my desk, absentmindedly doodling on the cover of my notebook. I was doodling Dimitri's face, without thinking about it while waiting for class to start and the teacher to get here.<p>

The teacher came in, and so did the rest of the students, and class started.

Class ended a while later, and I stood up, stuffing my notebook in my bag. I sensed Lissa in the chapel's attic, with Christian, through the bond. I headed off to the gym for training. I was probably late.

When I got there, I changed into my gym clothes, and saw Dimitri sprawled on a mat, reading a western novel.

"You're late," He said without looking up from his book.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." I shrugged. This time, he did look up, and man, his brown eyes were gorgeous...  
>He stood up.<p>

I asked, "What do you want me to do, comrade?"

"Run twelve laps around the track."

"Okay." I said. He looked surprised at my willingness.

I laughed. "Were you expecting twenty questions or some snarky remark?" I said, amused.

"Kind of, yeah."

"Oh. Well, I'm new and improved, so just deal with it," I threw at him.

"'New and improved?'" He arched an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, maybe those were the wrong words," I said. "I'll go run twelve laps now." I headed out the gym, and towards the track.

I ran twelve laps, and when I was done, I wasn't even breathing hard. I headed back inside the gym.

"So, how'd I do?" I asked, feeling more than a little desperate for his approval.

"You definitely improved your record, so I'd say you did excellent. Training is over for the day. Don't be late again." He said and I nodded.

I waved. "See ya, comrade." I left the gym shortly thereafter.

As I walked across the quad, I sensed through the bond that Lissa was near the church, just outside of it. I headed to the chapel, and Lissa was talking to Christian, sitting side by side on a bench, their hands intertwined.

They glanced up at my approach. Lissa smiled. "Hey, Rose. How are you?" She asked, always so polite.

"I'm good. Listen…I need to talk to you, Liss…preferably alone." I urged.

"Okay," She said. She felt confused by my words, but willing to listen nonetheless.

"Do you want to talk in my room?" She asked. I nodded. After Lissa kissed Christian goodbye and said that she'd be back soon, we walked to the Moroi dorms.

* * *

><p>When we got to her room, she shut the door behind her, and I sat on the edge of her bed. She sat in her desk chair. I cleared my throat, knowing I had to tell her the truth. And knowing she'd understand.<p>

"Well, the thing is, I think I'm developing feelings for…for Dimitri. My heart beats fast whenever he's near, and whenever he smiles, well, my heart just pounds even harder.

"I…I think I'm falling in love. No. I don't think. I know. These feelings are hard to describe. I don't know if he feels the same, but…" I shrugged.

"I understand, Rose. I know what you're going through. I felt like that when I first started falling for Christian. I was mostly shocked, then in denial, and then I just dealt with it.

"With each day I see him, I fall a little bit more in love. I think you're experiencing the same thing. I'm happy for you, Rose, and I hope he feels the same way." She smiled, eyes shining with understanding.

"Thank you, Lissa. I'm so relieved that you understand." I smiled back. "So, did you send me the dress?" I asked.

"That's confidential." She grinned.

"Aw, c'mon, why won't you tell me?" I grinned.

She shook her head, trying to keep herself from laughing.

"It's a secret, something you'll never know." She said mysteriously.

I sighed dramatically. She gave in and laughed.

"All right, fine. I gave it to you. I had it for a while." She said.

"Oh, wow. I love it! Don't worry, I really do. Thanks! It's definitely my kind of dress," I grinned again. She nodded in agreement.

"_Oh_ yes, it is." She agreed.

"So, how're you and Christian doing? Are you gonna have any love children any time soon?" I teased, making her blush.

"No, of course not. Don't be silly," She said, blushing deeper.

"Fine, fine, if you say so. But do I hear wedding bells ringing anytime soon?" I grinned when her face turned apple red.

"N-no, of course not. Geez, Rose, you like teasing me, don't you?"

"Yup, I do."

She sighed but smiled anyway.

A few hours later, I was in my dorm, trying to catch up on my homework. When I was done, I changed into sweats and a cotton tank top and went to bed, and fell asleep.

I dreamt of Dimitri again.

This time, we were in the gym. He smiled at me, a full warm smile, and leaned down to press his lips to mine.

I kissed back with such fierce intensity, the dream suddenly shifted and we were in bed, making love.

* * *

><p>I woke up immediately, but I wasn't as breathless or as sweaty as the first time.<p>

I smiled to myself, and after a few moments, I fell into a dreamless sleep…

**Dimitri's P.O.V **

I didn't know why I was feeling this way. I couldn't help it. I loved her. She was amazing, and these feelings were like nothing I ever felt before. I knew it wasn't right to feel this way.

I was her mentor, not her lover. It was illegal anyway. I couldn't just express my feelings toward her.

Maybe I was going crazy. Maybe I wasn't. I wished I could be with her, but I couldn't. Because of the age difference. Because we were both going to be Lissa's guardians someday.

I had to deal with it, deal without being able to be with her.

The only thing that made it hard to deal with—made it harder for me to control my feelings—was that she felt the same. I could see it in her body language and her eyes…and the way she blushed.

That made it really hard to resist being with her. The way she laughed, the way she smiled…Man.

I don't know how I was going to control these feelings…especially during training tomorrow when we'd have to do one on one like Guardian Petrov told me to practice with her.

That…was going to be a problem.

**A/N**

**I hope you all like it! ;) **

**~angelicvampirexx~**


	3. out of my league

**Rose's P.O.V **

I woke up the next day, feeling refreshed. I looked out my window, and the moon was shining, typical Moroi day. I was in a good mood. I got dressed into a red camisole, and denim shorts.

I slipped on my sneakers, and walked out the door.

I arrived at the gym a moment later. I walked in the locker room, and changed into gym clothes, then walked out. I saw Dimitri standing on a mat, with his arms crossed, and had an unreadable expression on his face.

I stepped on the mat across from him. "So what are we going to—" I started, but he didn't give me a chance to finish because he started to attack me.

I just barely dodged his blow. Apparently this was what we were doing today. His arm shot out again, and I took the blow hard. I landed on my stomach on the mat.

I groaned a little bit, but I quickly rose, and tried to knock his legs from underneath him, but he was fast.

He landed another blow on me, and this time, I ended up on my back, glaring at him. My good mood instantly vanished.

I stood up shakily, and I stumbled over my feet, and I would have fallen to the ground if he hadn't shot out his arms to catch me.

I was breathing heavily, and I glanced up at him, and I saw the shock in his eyes. The shock melted into some emotion I couldn't exactly decipher.

I felt my face heat up like it was on fire, and I stepped out of his embrace.

I cleared my throat, and said, "I, um, should get going. Training's probably over by now…" I averted my gaze to the clock on the wall. I was right. Training was over.

"Bye," I waved goodbye and started to leave the room, but I felt Dimitri's hand on my arm. I swallowed hard.

"Rose, wait,"

"What?" I asked, confused. His hand on my arm sent electricity through me. He dropped his hand to his side.

"I'm sorry," He said sincerely. I pivoted so I could see his face.

"What're you sorry for? It's not _your_ fault I stumbled! It's not _your _fault I'm in love with you! But still! It's not _your_ fault that you're twenty-four! It's not _your_ fault I'm feeling this way! It's not your freaking fault for anything! So, explain to me why you're so sorry. Because I don't get it."

He sighed. "I'm sorry we can't be together." He then left abruptly, walking away, leaving me confused yet again. But the confusion soon melted into understanding.

He loved me. He was sorry that we _couldn't be together_.

What I didn't understand was _why_ he loved me. I felt my face blush. I walked out of the gym and ran to Lissa's dorm. I sensed through the bond that she was in her room.

When I arrived at her room, I knocked on her door, and when she answered, she didn't look surprised to see me. She smiled and ushered me in.

"I suppose you have a reason for coming here, other than just to hang out?" She asked. I nodded.

"I…I think Dimitri…loves me. He said, _I'm sorry we can't be together_, those were his exact words. I think the meaning behind that is that he…he cares about me. I can't believe it. But obviously, we can't be together." I sighed, and sat on the edge of Lissa's bed.

"Why not? I mean, aside from the age difference." She said.

"Well, we're both going to be your guardians someday. That's a big reason." I said. She suddenly felt immensely guilty. I stood up, and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Liss, it's not your fault. I'm willing to give up being with him to protect you. Besides, you're my best friend. And they come first, remember?" I smiled reassuringly.

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But I feel so bad…"

"Don't. It's okay. I'm glad I'm going to be your guardian someday." I said.

"Me too," She smiled.

"Well, I gotta go. Bye, Liss." I said.

"Bye, Rose."

I left her room shortly thereafter. I headed to the cafeteria. But before I entered, I felt Lissa's emotions slam through me. Her emotions were upset, depressed, and they were so strong, I was sucked into her head before I could stop it.

Lissa was crying, and she reread a letter she held in her hand.

It said, _Lissa, I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry, I will always love you. I'm so sorry. Please don't take it personally. It just isn't working out, considering our fight yesterday. _(Fight?) _I will __**always**__ love you, Lissa. I am so sorry. _

_But you're never going to be happy with me. I'm just going to drag you down, since you're the last Dragomir, and I'm the crazy Ozera. _

_I will never forget you. _

_Sincerely yours, Christian. _

Lissa cried even harder, and she grabbed her pocket knife and started to cut herself…like she used to do. But she never went so far to commit suicide.

When she was done, she bandaged her wounds, and took off her shirt and put on a long sleeved one, to hide her bandages. Then spirit's darkness started to take over her. I took it out of her immediately, every last inch of darkness.

I didn't want to see spirit's darkness take over her. I hated that. I hated seeing her so upset, thanks to Christian.

I didn't blame her for being upset. But Christian wouldn't leave her without a reason.

I was back in my own body now, and I saw Dimitri staring at me with concern. I flinched, startled.

"Is Lissa okay?" He asked.

I thought about whether I should tell him about the cutting…

"Yeah, she's fine." I lied.

"Good. Well, see you tomorrow, for training."

"See you."

He walked away, and my heart filled with longing. But I shook it off—as best as I could—and focused on Lissa again. She was fine, aside from the cuts she'd given herself, and she thought, _well, at least I have Rose…_

And I knew she'd be truly alone if I weren't around. Now that Christian was gone—Well, I don't think he truly left the Academy, just left Lissa herself, but I wasn't sure—Lissa only had me.

It wasn't right for her to be alone, it wasn't right for Christian to leave her, leave her emotionally broken. But I knew as long as I was around, she was safe.

And that's all that mattered.

Moroi came first, after all. So Lissa should be first in my heart and her needs should come before my own.

But as much as I tried to shake off the longing inside of me, I just couldn't. It was no use.

I couldn't help but feel _love _for Dimitri. I had to face the truth. I had to.

Dimitri was just out of my league…and there was no way on earth that I could be with him, as much as I wanted to.

And as much as I hated to admit it, as much as I hated to even think it…Dimitri was only my mentor. He was a guardian with standards to uphold. He was a man that I could never be with, despite what I might be feeling.

The truth was, I loved him.

And there was no getting around it.

**Lissa's P.O.V**

I wished he was here.

Christian left me for the most stupidest, irrelevant reason. He claimed that he was _dragging me around_—his exact words, by the way—and I missed him.

I missed him so much it hurt both physically and emotionally.

I felt like an arm or leg was amputated. I couldn't believe he left me.

I loved Christian, still, and if I could just find him, I could talk it over with him.

Maybe he'd let me if I tried.

Then again, I _couldn't _find him. I'd tried earlier. But I hadn't searched the whole campus either…

I prayed silently that he was safe.

That was all I could ask for.

**Dimitri's P.O.V **

As I focused on my shift, an image suddenly popped into my head—an image of Rose.

I blinked several times, trying to focus on my shift around campus, but it was no use.

I couldn't stop thinking of her. I couldn't be around her without certain thoughts popping into my head.

I just couldn't help feeling this way.

She was amazing, though I had yet to see her in battle. The time would come eventually. She was beautiful, she was gorgeous.

She was fierce and protective of those she cared about. And that's why I loved her. That's why I felt this way.

But she was out of my league. I had to move on with my life and try to forget her.

But the truth was, I _couldn't_ forget her. Even if I tried to, I still couldn't.

Unbeknownst to her, she was the greatest challenge I had ever faced.

**A/N**

**I hope you all liked it! :) Please review and tell me what you think! Thank you! =) **

**~vampireangelxx~**


	4. longing

**A/N**

**Thanks for reviewing! :) I hope you'll like this chapter! :D Review at the end, please! (: Thanks so much! **

**~vampireangelxx~**

**Rose's P.O.V**

"The most important thing you need to learn about a Strigoi, is that they're not like their former selves. Not at all. They lose their morals and all sense of goodness," Dimitri said one day.

We were in the gym, leaning against the wall, arms nearly touching, his presence alone just making my heart pound, and Dimitri was giving me a lesson on how to defend my charge—someday—from Strigoi. So therefore, I'd need to learn more about them.

"What is the kind of blood Strigoi crave the most?" He asked.

I shuddered involuntarily. "Moroi blood." I said in a low voice.

He nodded. "Yes, they crave Moroi blood above all else, above any dhampir or human. And as you know very well, they are cruel.

"In fact, they are so cruel that they don't team up with other Strigoi because they quarrel many times with each other, not just us. But in rare occasions, they do team up for the same goal and attack academies like this." He gestured around us.

"Yeah, but that's only _rare_…right?" I asked. He nodded, a calm expression on his face.

"Yes, it almost never happens, considering the wards we put up frequently,"

"Oh. Okay." I felt almost relieved. It wasn't like I was afraid a sudden Strigoi army would attack us. I had no reason to feel relieved; because it wasn't going to happen.

"This session is almost over but there's one thing I want to talk to you about." He said, unexpectedly taking my hand and leading me away. I blushed, and I hoped he didn't notice how I felt when he took my hand in his…

When we arrived at our destination, I noticed it was a storage closet. I frowned. "Why'd you bring me here?" I was confused.

He smiled and my heart raced. He amazed me sometimes…actually, scratch that. He amazed me ever since I met him, and he continued to amaze me.

"You'll see. I wanted to talk to you about something," He opened the door and it was a small space. A broom and two chairs were the only things in it.

He sat down on the one chair and I sat down on the other chair.

"So…what'd you want to talk to be about?" I asked, more confused than ever.

"Well…a thought occurred to me earlier, and I realized, well, we don't have to be together out in public. We don't have to tell anyone. Of course, that's entirely up to you. I was merely suggesting." He shrugged, nonchalant, wearing an unreadable expression.

I was in shock. _We don't have to tell anyone_. We could…we could be with each other without anyone knowing….we could finally get our chance to be with each other…except it would have to be a secret.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. I blinked several times, and I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't.

"You're serious?" I asked, my eyes wide.

He nodded. "I am."

I pretended to consider it. "Hmmm….I don't know…" I grinned. He stood up and stared down at me with an amused expression. I stood up and kissed his lips. He kissed back and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I tangled my fingers in his hair, feeling the smooth silkiness of it, and he tightened his arms around me. Dimitri was meant to be with me, as I was for him.

I didn't care that we were going to be together in secret. I didn't care that no one would know. I reluctantly broke the kiss. I grinned, and he smiled.

I swear, my heart stopped right then when I saw him smile. I think it did.

I kissed him once more and then I turned around, heading back, but he grabbed my arm, and pulled me to him. My back was against him, and I smiled, though he couldn't see it.

I felt him press his lips to my hair. I was breathing a little unsteadily. "Dimitri, you're making it harder for me to leave, and I kind of have to leave, you know, to class?" I said, my heart pounding as his hands rubbed my arms.

Just his touch sent electricity and longing and desire through me.

He kissed my hair and let go of me. I blew a kiss and he smiled. I left shortly thereafter.

When class was over a while later, an idea popped into my head.

I wanted Lissa happy, but she was feeling broken since Christian left the Academy, apparently he had gotten permission from the guardians to go back to his aunt Tasha whom he lived with, and the idea was that I was going to knock some sense into him—and if it came to literally shaking him, then I'd do it.

Whatever it took for him to realize that Lissa was unhappy without him and if it also came for me telling him that she'd cut herself, and then I'd tell him.

Whatever it took for him to come back into her life.

So I decided to sneak away from the Academy. I didn't know how I'd manage that, and I'd still need to know where Christian's aunt lived, but I was determined.

I went to find Dimitri. He had to know where Christian lived. As I ran to the administrative building, I bumped into Dimitri—like, I bumped into him so hard, since I was running, that I fell face-down on the ground.

"Rose! Are you okay?" He asked, helping me up.

"Yeah. Fine. Do you know where Christian lives?" I asked as casually as I could manage. He arched an eyebrow.

"Yes. Why?" He asked, a little suspiciously.

"I'm just curious." I lied and shrugged. His eyes narrowed slightly, obviously seeing through my lie. I swore mentally.

"Rose, what's the real reason?" He asked, exasperated. I sighed in frustration.

"Fine, whatever, I'll tell you. Lissa has been feeling upset, since Christian left the Academy for some reason, and she…well, she cut herself once, because Christian left, and I wanted to get out of here and knock some sense into him." I said all this in a low voice.

"She cut herself? Why didn't you tell me when you found that out?"

"Oh, I don't know….Lissa would probably be mad at me for telling you guys." I averted my eyes.

"Why would she be mad at you?" He asked gently, trying to hold my gaze.

I shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

"I guess she just thought it should be a secret between us, and nobody else should know. She just thought that you guys wouldn't let her cut herself, and she thinks that by cutting herself, the emotional pain is replaced by physical pain.

"And she prefers the physical pain over the emotional pain. I can't say that I blame her."

"Well, it harms her if she cuts herself. Where is she right now?"

"No way am I telling you," I crossed my arms across my chest, and glared. "I've told you enough already. I don't want her finding out that you know about the cutting. Now, let's get back to the original subject. Where does Christian's aunt live? Lissa isn't happy without him."

He sighed, and said, "They live in Missoula. If Lissa really isn't happy without him…" His voice trailed off.

"She isn't happy without him. I know that without a doubt."

"Okay, then. I'll go with you. But first, I'll go inform Headmistress Kirova and Guardian Petrov that we're leaving. Don't worry, I won't tell her all the details." He added, seeing me about to protest. I sighed, frustrated again.

"Fine," I grumbled, though I was hoping that I would go alone. But then again, it was Moroi day, night for the rest of the human world. I guess I'd need his help in case we ran into a Strigoi or two.

An hour later, we were on our way to Missoula. Dimitri drove, despite my stubborn protests that I was capable of driving. I glared out my window as I sat in the passenger seat.

We arrived in Missoula four hours later. Dimitri parked in front of Christian's aunt's house. I stepped out of the car, ready to convince Christian that Lissa needed him.

Or at least I hoped to convince him…

**A/N**

**I hope you liked it! =) I'll update ASAP. thanks for reading so far! :D**


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